Rural Life Romantic Gifts

A boy who loves cows/burgers

This piggy has federal subsidies. This little piggy has none. So this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way to the poor house.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Farm Humor.

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Lamb Noise.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

I fart more than that!

"They’re real."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

You complete me!

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Farmers' Warnings.

"I'm an enigma!"

Cow and Milk

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."