Ranch Lover Gifts

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

Ranch Dressing

"You must have given him a lot of fertilizer."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Lamb Noise.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

The Speculators

'Come back, you fool! -- The Earth is three-fourths ocean!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'I love you guys!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

COW. JUST COW.

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Ed's security blanket. Two hundred and twenty acres!"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

'He's on steeroids.'