Ranch Lover Pillows

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

Ranch Dressing

"You must have given him a lot of fertilizer."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Lamb Noise.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

The Speculators

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'Come back, you fool! -- The Earth is three-fourths ocean!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

'I love you guys!'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Ed's security blanket. Two hundred and twenty acres!"

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

COW. JUST COW.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Maternity ward on the farm.

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."