Ranch Lifestyle Gifts

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

"They're comfortable."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Motorherd

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Cow duel.

The Not So Wild West

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Sick Rancher Humor

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Mama! Aliens.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'