Ranch Activities Gifts

Dude Ranch. Activities Schedule. They have meditation classes! "Om" on the range!

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"They're comfortable."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Motorherd

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Cow duel.

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Sick Rancher Humor

'Mama! Aliens.'

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

The Not So Wild West

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Bad weather, bugs, snakes, hostile Indians, rustlers, … these are some of the things you may encounter on your outward bound experience."

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.