Rural Activities Gifts

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No VIII

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Farm Humor.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

I fart more than that!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

You complete me!

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers' Warnings.

"I'm an enigma!"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."