Rural Traditions Gifts

"We don't have lore. People in rural areas have lore. Here, you're on your own."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Farm Humor.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Lamb Noise.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

I fart more than that!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"I always knew you'd come back."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

You complete me!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"I'm an enigma!"

Farmers' Warnings.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Milkin' Impossible

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A boy who loves cows/burgers