Rural Lifestyle Gifts

Urban Rural Living.

'Small, medium or large?'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

I was boorn under a wandering brown staaar!

'Your mother's been on strike since we discovered her secret cache of designer shoes.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

Barn Wedding

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Farm Humor.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

You complete me!

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'