Quitting Therapy Gifts

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Emotional Support Pest

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"Yes, I have experience. I've been divorced two times."

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."