Quitting Therapy Mugs

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

Emotional Support Pest

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

Mega Corp. Employee Exit. I know every day is a gift, but sometimes I wish it had a return policy.

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"Yes, I have experience. I've been divorced two times."

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."