Quitting Work Gifts

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"It's hard to keep good people."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"My God! There goes middle management."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Leaving cards.

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Mega Corp. Employee Exit. I know every day is a gift, but sometimes I wish it had a return policy.

'Nepotism will no longer be an issue. I'm disowning you.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'