Leaving Work Gifts

"I knew you wouldn't want to miss the office collection."

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Very Difficult Conversations

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

Temporarily Unavailable

"It's hard to keep good people."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

Leaving cards.

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"It seems that Parker left behind some of his personal demons."

Mega Corp. Employee Exit. I know every day is a gift, but sometimes I wish it had a return policy.

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'You're supposed to give two weeks notice, you know.'

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'