Quitting Jobs Gifts

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"It's hard to keep good people."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"My God! There goes middle management."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Leaving cards.

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'