Job Quitter Gifts

"Mr. Brown, my ship came in. I've decided to cruise right on out of here!"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"My God! There goes middle management."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

'I don't think I'm getting paid enough either, Osgood - Let's both quit!'

Mega Corp. Employee Exit. I know every day is a gift, but sometimes I wish it had a return policy.

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

"I can't work for you anymore. My doctor said I'm allergic to nuts."

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

'I quit my job today. It just wasn't fun anymore.'

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

Resignations section of newspaper

'Does this mean you won't be back on Monday?'