Quitting Addiction Gifts

"Patients kept saying, 'You don't understand. You never smoked.' So, I tried and now I can't stop."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

Letter of Resignation

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Lab Rat Rehab...

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Does it come in menthol?"

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

'I'd like to quit drinking, but it's all I KNOW!'

"I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking Dr. Jekyll, but the withdrawal symptoms turn you into a completely different person!"

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

'My job is safe. This guy is a regular and he drinks to forget.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

"About time!"

Alcohol Problem Advisor - 'How do I mix a Bismark?'

"I want to see other hallucinations."

Turkey...cold turkey.

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."