Addiction Recovery Gifts

Lab Rat Rehab...

'We cured your cigarette addiction, but you now need treatment for nicotine patch addiction.'

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."

'Heroin chic isn't the look I'm going for. Do you have anything more rehab?'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

'Do the patches help?'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'Betcha I recover before you do.'

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

One day Bob Hope to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

"I'm trying to kick the habit."

'I kicked the coffee habit!'

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

Dear Diary...just Quit Smoking.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'It's black pudding - I'm trying to quit.'

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Twelve step program.

"Okay. We're all here because we've relapsed..."

"Oh, give me a break. I quit smoking."

"Will work for new liver"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

Self-esteem room

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.