Alcohol Recovery Gifts

'On the positive side, we were very impressed with the number of your personal weaknesses you were able to identify!'

'My name's Steve, and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm pretty sure the guy vomiting behind my chair is too.'

All Washed Up

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Speed Dating for Turtles

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Let's consider an early dive."

Vlad the Inhaler

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Cardiac Recovery.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Self-esteem room

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Vaccine Spring

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

COVID 19