Health Recovery Gifts

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Business News: Economic Growth Indicators are Up, Led By Car Repairs, Divorce Costs, Open Heart Surgeries and Toxic Waste Cleanups.

"Great News Mr Wilkins...you'll still be able to play the harmonica."

'We thought you'd like to meet Reggie. He's the rat who we experimented on to find a cure for you.'

"You're lucky, Dave. . . you've had a heart attack to put your career in perspective."

"You know what Dad, maybe you make it too obvious to predators that you're old and sick..."

'He hasn't been able to speak for a week, conversely my blood pressure is nothing short of a miracle.'

'Your liver has issues.'

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

'I couldn't afford a pacemaker with wifi, but mine is able to open the garage door.'

'Please be patient. The Doctor will see you as soon as possible. Thank you.'

'Before you know it you'll be out swinging a golf club at your insurance agent.'

'Everybody is pulling for you. Here's a card from the life insurance company.'

'I'm here to check the condition your condition is in.'

Covid vaccine

Vlad the Inhaler

The Lone Ranger at Home

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I'm glad you checked with me, but yes, I think it's safe for you to do the 'Hokey-Pokey.'"

'Make sure he doesn't turn his TV to any business news programs while he's here.'

Human at last, the Tin Man is granted a heart attack.

'Since my bone marrow transplant, the dog doesn't know me!'

'Cigarette?'

'You'll get a new lease on life if your HMO will pay the rent.'

Hillary knew to not get too excited about being in remission since bad news could again come out of nowhere.

'I hope your undershorts were clean.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Wheelchair Returns after Lourdes

'With my new heart I have to worry about cholesterol.'