Recovery Gifts

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

"Don't use any big words for a few weeks."

Greeting cards: Get Well, Get Over It.

"John says you've all been compassionate and caring! Would you please stop... or he'll expect that at home!"

'You're looking well.'

'We'd prefer it if you got better.'

"Congratulations! I think we got it all."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'The operation was a success, but your colon is now a semi-colon.'

"At the end of the tunnel, my parents were waiting to greet me. Mom looked nice, but as usual, Dad was walking around in his underwear. I nearly died."

'Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing?'

Man with all kinds of patches to quit things (smoking, alcohol, drugs, coffee, and fun).

"It's great to see so many new faces her tonight!"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'It's no good taking that attitude Malcolm - sharks have to eat!'

The end of COVID-19.

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Yuk! I'm too young to die! Send out for pizza!'

'You are getting better but you're not out of the woods yet.'

'The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?'

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

"Not tonight, hon, I have a concussion."

Hunter-Catheters

"He's in a critical condition"

'No, I'm not an angel of mercy. I'm your guardian angel. And apparently not a very good one.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."