Recovery Gifts

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

"Don't use any big words for a few weeks."

Greeting cards: Get Well, Get Over It.

"John says you've all been compassionate and caring! Would you please stop... or he'll expect that at home!"

"Congratulations! I think we got it all."

'We'd prefer it if you got better.'

'You're looking well.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'The operation was a success, but your colon is now a semi-colon.'

"At the end of the tunnel, my parents were waiting to greet me. Mom looked nice, but as usual, Dad was walking around in his underwear. I nearly died."

"It's great to see so many new faces her tonight!"

'Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing?'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

Man with all kinds of patches to quit things (smoking, alcohol, drugs, coffee, and fun).

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

The end of COVID-19.

'It's no good taking that attitude Malcolm - sharks have to eat!'

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

'Yuk! I'm too young to die! Send out for pizza!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Hunter-Catheters

"Not tonight, hon, I have a concussion."

'No, I'm not an angel of mercy. I'm your guardian angel. And apparently not a very good one.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

"He's in a critical condition"

'The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'You are getting better but you're not out of the woods yet.'

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."