Starting Recovery Gifts

AA Meeting: Still in denial. Please help.

'My name's Steve, and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm pretty sure the guy vomiting behind my chair is too.'

"You say that the best thing I could do for my health is to give up alcohol. Let's talk about the second best..."

One day Bob Hope to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Self-esteem room

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'