Starting Rehab Gifts

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Licensed Therapist

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Postwar is hell."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Window Treatment

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"You must learn to let go."

Identity Crisis Support Group

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

It's A Breeze

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"