Starting Rehab Gifts

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Window Treatment

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"You must learn to let go."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

It's A Breeze

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"I'm trying to focus on the treasures in my life that aren't buried."