Recovery Period Gifts

'You rang, sir?'

'You SHOULD be able to live a perfectly normal life.. as long as you don't try to SIT UP..'

'I think it's time to shut off 'Horror Theater' and get some needed rest, Mr. Squeamish.'

"Come on, Mr James, I know you're in there."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Our war is against cancer."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

Self-esteem room

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."