Recovery Period Gifts

'You rang, sir?'

'You SHOULD be able to live a perfectly normal life.. as long as you don't try to SIT UP..'

'I think it's time to shut off 'Horror Theater' and get some needed rest, Mr. Squeamish.'

"Come on, Mr James, I know you're in there."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Our war is against cancer."

Spa

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

Self-esteem room

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."