News Addiction Recovery Gifts

"That sonuvabitch gave up watching the news."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

Self-esteem room

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."