News Detox Enthusiast Gifts

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

Be Healthy

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

America Off-line.

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

Children's games and technology

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Deposit phones here

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

'How is the detox going?'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

Well that's me detoxed!

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

NIl by 'phone.

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

"Come home when the internet's back on."

"Cruel punishment – they took away my smart phone. I had to watch TV."

'I know how to fix that!'