Undergoing Detox Gifts

'How is the detox going?'

Be Healthy

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

America Off-line.

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

Children's games and technology

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

Deposit phones here

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."