Newspaper Addict Gifts

Woman asks: 'Have you seen the cat lately?'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Fear of news.

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

The end of election 2016

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

EU Deal

"Are those my slippers?!"

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

The Original Gossip Columns

'Norbert never mumbles names of other women in his sleep - only foods.'

Impeachment to Trump

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'

"This is gonna be great!"

election polling

"I'll check your circulation."

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"You're the sport on my telly"

Sunday.

'You think economic news on TV could be adversely affecting our patient?'