Newspaper Addict Pillows

Woman asks: 'Have you seen the cat lately?'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Fear of news.

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

The end of election 2016

EU Deal

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

"Are those my slippers?!"

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

The Original Gossip Columns

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"I'll check your circulation."

'Norbert never mumbles names of other women in his sleep - only foods.'

Sunday.

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

Impeachment to Trump

E Pluribus Nada

Freaking out about Trump, Letting Bush off the Hook

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

H L Mencken.

"This is gonna be great!"

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'

"You're the sport on my telly"