Quitting Smoking Humor Gifts

"The patch isn't helping you quit, is it?"

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

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Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

'Aren't we entitled to a ten minute smoking break?'

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

Man Carrying Olympic Torch Stops For Smoke Break

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Snowman

If they ban smoking in cars...

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

Casino - featuring pre-owned cigarette smoke.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?"

Animals smoking at the zoo back entrance

'The New World will be easy to conquer, Your Majesty -- they're all hooked on tobacco.'

No Smoking Sign - Mercury dips further