Modern Smoking Humor Gifts

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

'Do you mind!!?'

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"The dog wants out again!"

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

igloo smoking zone...

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

Casino - featuring pre-owned cigarette smoke.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

If they ban smoking in cars...

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Snowman

Hell's Smoking Section