Smoking Quitter Humorist Gifts

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

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'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Punch has a smoking break.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

'Aren't we entitled to a ten minute smoking break?'

Man Carrying Olympic Torch Stops For Smoke Break

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

If they ban smoking in cars...

I'm giving you a prescription for hard-to-remove stop smoking patches. Place one over the opening of every pack of cigarettes you buy.

Snowman

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

'Oh man, I should really give up smoking!'

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."