Quirky Spouse Appreciator Pillows

'John keeps saying he misses the dog but we never had a dog. It's weird.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

'We were made for each other.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

The Odd Couple.

'Well, you know what they say about opposite's attracting...'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

They were made for each other. She was easy to look at; he had a lazy eye.

'It was a nice wedding, but the drug testing kind of spoiled it.'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'He's crazy, and she agrees with everything he says...they're the perfect couple!'

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"Are you binge watching again?"

Tortoise Falls In Love With A Football.

Doomed Romance

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'The opinions expressed by Mrs Latimore are her own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Mr Latimore.'

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

"Hey hon, don't wait up. They too the handcuffs and leather whip away from me at security."

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

"And now, going for the 'Surfing Through All The Cable Channels In The Shortest Time' record..."

"The date went well! He's bad tempered, has bad eyesight and a tendency to charge when threatened: He's perfect!"

'We were the quintessential odd couple. Then we got peculiar.'