Quirky Spouse Pillows

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

Cat Towels

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"Where's your nose?"

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

Graffitti.

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

Face Mask Romance

Prison Romance.

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'