Quirky Partner Pillows

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Hey hon, don't wait up. They too the handcuffs and leather whip away from me at security."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

It's admirable you do your bit to save the planet by wearing green undies, but let's not forget, they weren't green when you bought them!

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

Cat Towels

"I love you, you big fool."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

"You don't whisper anymore."

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Inappropriate Snowmen

Advanced footsie

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"This does not make us friends."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Prison Romance.

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Don't tell him anything."

Graffitti.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Face Mask Romance

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'