Couple Appreciator Pillows

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

'We were made for each other.'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Couple in Grey

'Good morning Miss...'

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

Elderly couple

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Gay couple living together.

"That's Fred's Case History."

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

How To Be Your Own Best Friend

We never go out anymore.

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'The opinions expressed by Mrs Latimore are her own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Mr Latimore.'

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

"Since when do you obey traffic signs, Billy?!"

"Honey! Remember when you used to nibble my ear?"

"Will you say the three magical words that always make me so happy?"

This marriage will never work --- She's a go anywhere gal and he's a one-step-at-a-time guy.

It's the thought that counts...'on our first anniversary he gave me a pearl necklce. On our silver anniversary he gave me a colonoscopy!'

"I'm going swearing now."

Am I the first guy you've invited back to your appartment?

"Look, if I'm coming across as uncaring and self-centred it's because my spin doctor wanted me to be that way!"