Couple Banter Appreciator Pillows

"I'm going swearing now."

"Touché"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

'We were made for each other.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"Sorry. No refunds."

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Gay couple living together.

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"I'm sure it's a false alarm - my husband must have the leak fixed by now."

We never go out anymore.

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

'The opinions expressed by Mrs Latimore are her own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Mr Latimore.'

"Oh, it was fun for awhile, but then she started getting under MY skin."

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

"He's fine as long as I take my medication."

Young Girl: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my Mum's Toy Boy is YOUNGER than YOUR Mum's!'

'You're the most self-absorbed egomaniac it's ever been my misfortune to know.' 'I'm beginning to think we're on different wavelengths.'

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

'You can call off the search now -- I remarried.'

'Preston, if you're making faces at me, save it for the Halloween party.'

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

'You're totally unreasonable.'

This marriage will never work --- She's a go anywhere gal and he's a one-step-at-a-time guy.

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

"If you don't want me to sound like that when I imitate you, then don't sound like that when you talk to me."