Snide Remark Appreciator Pillows

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"They're so like us."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Steamed vegetables."

'Oh Hi!'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Amateurs."

The Greek Trampoline

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Russia Money Laundering

"Touché"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'