Satirical Appreciator Pillows

Although Jeremy raised enough money to feed a small African village for a week, he used eough baked beans to feed a large African village for a month.

"It's from the University Of Life.. you didn't get in."

Erwin Swanson, Schizophrenic Doctor: 'Wow, three opinions for the price of one- what a bargain!'

'My mother didn't understand me, my wife doesn't understand. NO woman understands me!'

"We pay the living dead wage."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Steamed vegetables."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"They're so like us."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Amateurs."

The Greek Trampoline

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Russia Money Laundering

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."