Satire Appreciateor Pillows

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Who's got the hammer?"

UK border controls relaxed.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

How about going easy on the carbs

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Oh Hi!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Steamed vegetables."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Czarcasm

"They're so like us."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Russia Money Laundering

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Amateurs."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'