Satire Appreciateor Pillows

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

How about going easy on the carbs

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Oh Hi!'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"They're so like us."

"Steamed vegetables."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Czarcasm

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Russia Money Laundering

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Amateurs."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'