Quirky Pet Fan Gifts

"Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie."

"Oh, stop complaining—you know she's terrified of the nail clippers."

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Phoenix

Antler Buzzers.

Deer Cross Dressing.

"He's a Crocodoodle."

The next damn Batman.

"Curiosity."

Beachy Hair

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

Some Zoomies

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

Unknown fact - Oysters are easy to train and make great pets.

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"Fruit of the Loon"

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"I'd rather go to the vet."

"I can't help being annoying. I'm a Pain-In-The Saurus."

"Do these jeans make my butt sound big?"

At home with the Tangleheads

"Wow - a piranha fish!! What do you feed it on...?"

I'm terrified of clown fish.

"Yes, I'm sure it'll work. They hate turkeys with bad taste."

'Just think about it. . . Australia is home to over 800,000 unique species, but you're still, by far, the absolute lamest.'

Snake -charmer's convention

"Woof, woof!"