Quirky Pet Fan Pillows

"Oh, stop complaining—you know she's terrified of the nail clippers."

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Phoenix

Antler Buzzers.

Deer Cross Dressing.

"He's a Crocodoodle."

The next damn Batman.

Beachy Hair

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

"Curiosity."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Some Zoomies

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

Unknown fact - Oysters are easy to train and make great pets.

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

"Fruit of the Loon"

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"I'd rather go to the vet."

"Do these jeans make my butt sound big?"

At home with the Tangleheads

"Wow - a piranha fish!! What do you feed it on...?"

"I can't help being annoying. I'm a Pain-In-The Saurus."

'Just think about it. . . Australia is home to over 800,000 unique species, but you're still, by far, the absolute lamest.'

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

"What do you mean, you can't walk without your head going back and forth like that?! Are you serious?"

Snake -charmer's convention

"Woof, woof!"

'The doctor said you should cut down on the 'love bites'...'