Quirky Pessimist Gifts

Liberation. You've removed your hypochondria mask. Is flu season over? Possibly for good. There's new research that shows that the warming of the globe is inhospitable to those @#$% flu bugs. The viruses thrive on cold weather. That might be why fly and head colds have been relatively mild. It's just wonderful. Of course, I still won't be shaking hands, or hugging, which are disgusting habits. And we'll all die when the planet overheats because we have no ozone. Are you sure you @#$ whining isn'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Die alone"

"My glass is half empty"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

The Dungeon

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"People wipe their feet on me all day long. I mean, really, what could possibly be worse than that?"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

The end is near! Wacko. The end is far!

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"