Pessimistic Ponderer Gifts

Have a day.

Half Full/Half Empty

The Shed of Doom Mystery: 'So you guys think something is trapped in there?...No squirrels, no chipmunks...just something glowing in the dark.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

Doom & Gloom

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Gonna Suck

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'