Pessimist Ponderings Gifts

"Wait -- a NEWER normal?"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

Doom & Gloom

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"Die alone"

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Gonna Suck

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."