Pessimistic Thinker Gifts

"Actually I did know then what I know now. It didn't help."

"Die alone"

I've always seen the glass as half empty, not half full

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"It's a win-win to expect the worst. If I'm wrong, that's fortunate. If I'm right, I'm vindicated."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

Doom & Gloom

Tom's last day.

"Look on the dark side."

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"