Pessimist Philosopher Gifts

"Give up on things getting better ye who enter here."

'We peck at gravel, we peck at sticks, we peck at the ground...life is full of disappointments.'

Life is crap, and then you go to hell.

"Don't think of it as the first day of school. Think of it as the beginning of the end."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Tom's last day.

"Look on the dark side."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!