Pessimistic Optimist Gifts

'Turned out nice again.'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

World ends at midnight. Have a nice day.

'On the plus side, root canal jobs will be a thing of the past!'

Beware of positive spin.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"Die alone"

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.