Pessimist Appreciator Gifts

"Oh what a beautiful morning!"

Y2K Solutions Inc.

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Gonna Suck

DOOM, 'I do love you, Arnie, but you're such a downer!'

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Die alone"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

The Dungeon

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Turned out nice again.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.