Pessimist Enthusiast Gifts

"I've got a bad feeling, the rats are leaving the ship..."

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Die alone"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

Gonna Suck

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Turned out nice again.'

Y2K Solutions Inc.

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

This will be a banner day for you!

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'I'm afraid things have to get worse before they can get even worse.'

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

The end of the world is nigh.

DOOM, 'I do love you, Arnie, but you're such a downer!'

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."