Optimistic Pessimist Gifts

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Six Thinking Hats

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

Flower growing from a bomb.

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'The key is not to take yourself too seriously: You have to be able to laugh at yourself...'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Just Because it's Tuesday

"Die alone"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

Coronovirus dreams

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

The corner that Spring's around

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

"I can dream, can't I?"