Witty Pessimist Gifts

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

'Look at that lunatic...'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

Half Full/Half Empty

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

Why Me? - Why Not?

The whine of the month selection - Why me?

Bomb shelters: pessimists...optimists.

'With all the stresses and worries out there, happy hour no longer seemed to work.'

'Surprised you made it this far. No one likes a know-it-all.'

"We're waiting for the land to slide before we actually build on it."

Bird Flu Hysteria.

'I thought buying the boat would make him more optimistic about the future but apparently not...'

Hope

'Too expensive, too long, sounds boring, the jacket is lousy...'